Tonight, Kaitlyn and I had a VERY unwelcomed visitor…
Around 4am, Kaitlyn and I were both awake and on our respective computers. She was watching a tv show and I was Facebook chatting and watching YouTube videos about Taylor Swift’s romantic life (don’t ask why - I don’t even know). Then, out of the corner of my eye I saw something crawling around on our floor. You might be asking, how could I see such a thing, MAYBE it’s because it was the biggest cockroach I’ve ever laid eyes on.
Immediately, I start saying “Kaitlyn, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!” while pointing at the enemy. She quickly realized and without hesitation we both started shrieking and jumping on our beds uncontrollably. Of course doing this gave our guest the opportunity to crawl into hiding under Kaitlyn’s armoire.
We realized that is was not the best course of action so I got my sneaker to await when it came out. It soon did and I quickly whacked it. However, apparently I was absent the day we learned how to kill cockroaches in grade school because apparently that’s not how you do it. It quickly fled under Kaitlyn’s bed.
Now we were both even more unsettled so we both put on our sneakers (in the event that it came out, we could both try to stomp on it) and took our positions awaiting its return back to the light. While we were waiting, I asked my friend Ahmed for any suggestions that he might have. All his suggestions were hogwash and unhelpful. I was not amused in this time of crisis. Well, okay, slightly amused since Kaitlyn and I were alternating from shrieks and giggles about the entire scenario and the ridiculousness of it.
Finally we saw the little bastard crawling around on her suitcase, so we quickly got a cup to clamp down on it. We also broke down an old cereal box to use so we could carry it outside. Once outside, we finished the battle for good by stomping on it.
I swear, we should get purple hearts for our bravery.
The irony of the story is that, throughout this entire debacle, I was chatting my unhelpful friend. Therefore when I proclaimed our victory, I told him he was not to be thanked. He told me he was going to shower and I vengefully told him that I hope he sees a cockroach in the shower. Moments lately I get a Facebook message, he just spotted and killed a cockroach in his apartment. It was the very first time he’s had a cockroach in his apartment. I am not sure if it was my ill will or karma or maybe cockroaches around the world are infiltrating houses worldwide but the irony was just too perfect.
It took about an hour for my heart rate to drop and it’s now almost 6am and we are just getting to bed. I told Kaitlyn we should just stay up until the sun comes up, she wasn’t having that. I guess I should just go to bed, but at least I know that I’m going to bed a hero.
5.26.12
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